December 2009
God damn it.
I haven’t slept in two days. This is starting to get a little aggravating.
Why the hell can’t I sleep?
Someone tell me please. Don’t think I haven’t thought about it either, I’ve had nothing but time to think about it, yet I can’t find a good reason.
Is it a girl? I doubt it is.
God damn this is fucking shitty.
Love, still isn't real.
“you’ll have an amazing girl someday. and she’ll cook for you, and fight for you, and love you, and rub your back, and kiss you, it just wont be me. that’s all.”
Probably the most hurtful, deep cutting words I’ve heard in a long time.
I just can’t help but laugh at it though.
-
It’s 5am and I haven’t slept yet, I tried but all I can think...
This is for whoever wants it.
Life just went from pretty fuckin sweet to shit real quick.
Got some sweet as headphones for Christmas, the only thing I wanted.
Got a camera, didn’t really want it but it’s sweet.
Then the only girl that I felt any sort of a connection to pretty much told me to go suck my own dick.
Am I sad? Yeah, but I don’t really care. I figured this was coming or something like it....
Shawty's like a melody in my head that I can't...
I like this.
I love being my own cock block. I got rubbed on today by a ugly as fuck bitch, I gave her half a lie and said I had a girlfriend. Do I? No, just a protective Nazi.
I don’t have a girlfriend, but I kinda wish I did. I want her to have hair that she doesn’t give a fuck about. I want her to barely ever wear make up. I want her to know what “haggard” really looks like. I want...
19 bitches.
I just checked to see how many people are following me, its 19 females, and no males. I was slightly depressed, but then I looked at the bright side and thought of what Britt would say “They probably want your diq.”
Probably not true. I just think it’s funny that no guy’s have one of these things…am I the only dude who has one? Yeah I’m probably gay.
I was fine yesterday.
My nose won’t stop running, my eyes keep watering, I can’t stop sneezing.
I’m going to murder someone.
I just want a cigarette really. I’ve been doing my best to cut back, and before you say anything no. I’m not doing this for a girl, I’m not doing this for anyone but me. I just don’t think I should be smoking two packs of newports a day, last time I...
And here I figured you were faking it.
Guess I’ve been wrong about worse.
Comfortable.
As much as I love this song. It really does get me down, it makes me sad and happy at the same time. Maybe love is real.
That’s a stretch though.
——-
I just remembered, that time at the market snuck up behind me and jumped on my shopping cart And rode down, aisle 5 you looked behind you to smile back at me crashed into a rack full of magazines they asked us if we could...
Thanks Sam.
10 things you want for Christmas :
My land rover.
Timberlands.
A fitted hat.
Family.
Friends.
A good dinner.
Something awesome.
Fat Mikey :/
At least two tattoo’s
My Newo Ikkin.
9 Favorite Artists:
Tiger
Have Heart
Lil Wayne
Brothers
Fight It Out
La Dispute
Frank Sinatra
Comeback Kid
Trapped Under Ice
8 things you do everyday :
Shower
Drink Tea
Smoke...
Sleep.
Come on. Where are you when I need you?
Run your fingers through my hair, scratch my back, kiss behind my ears.
Whisper “Shhhh baby, shhh.” In my ear when I wake up in a cold sweat.
Where are you?
I need you here by my side.
I just want you here, just for one night.
Lay with me.
But you aren’t gonna show up are you?
I’m going to toss and turn all night again because...
Last name, Ever. First name, Greatest.
I will get myself out of this fucking rut I’m in. I need to do something stupidly drastic to kick this need and want for drugs.
Someone told me, “You need to do this for yourself, not for Marcus, not for Aly. You need to do this for yourself.”
I’m going to, I’m going to try my fucking hardest to do this for me.
—-
So this right here is my open letter, my...
Just one last night.
I want you in my arms, with your head on my chest. Sleeping.
Really?
Who decided to drink last night? Chantzy-pants did.
Whose a fucking retard? Sir Chantz-alot.
Haha, fuck the world. Here’s the recap of the night (of what I remember)
Domke and I chilled with some pretty sweet girls;
Natalie, probably the meanest girl I’ve ever met, but she’s epic at rubbing my back and being stupidly cute.
Ms. Em, pretty fucking awesome, great singer,...
samanthacorey:
hero’s never die.
Hero’s get remembered. Legend’s never die.
Follow your heart kid, and you’ll never go wrong.
Cigarettes.
If I die because of them I’ll be happy that I die from cancer and not from a overdose. I can’t scratch this itch.
I can’t let myself.
Should I have never stopped?
This is getting extremely hard to keep pushing forward.
I need air.
I need smoke.
I want it.
I need air.
I wanna breathe.
I don’t know how much more of this whole “sober” thing I can take.
“Chantz your not sober you drink and smoke cigarettes.”
Yeah no shit Sherlock.
When I say sober I mean from drugs. Hard drugs.
The kind that make you steal from your family, the ones that make you snap on your loved ones.
I want my pupils to dilate again, I want my chest to hurt,...
Heartbreaker.
I’ve got you down on your knees looking up at me, and you proclaim.
“All hail the heartbreaker.”
Yep that’s me, from this life to the next, I’ll be that guy that makes you fall in love, only to rip it right out.
Or so I’ve been told.
Am I really that heartless? Am I really that cold? I must be. Fuck it, if you wanna say that I’m a cold, heartless,...
Back down?
Never, I’m too fucking headstrong. I’m too stubborn. I don’t like loosing, I don’t like disappointing someone. I blame my dad for being the way I am. He’s probably the coolest motherfucker I’ve ever met in my entire life. He has been and always be the reason I push forward through the mud and the muck. I don’t really know what I’ll do when he leaves...
Michigan, You're my girl.
God I love this fucking state, fuck you if you don’t.
I didn’t sleep last night so I’ve sat in my living room with nothing but the glow of this computer screen and felt like a lazy piece of shit.
I watched the sun come up, I went outside in nothing but my Tigers and a tattered pair of sweat pants, lit up a cigarette and bitched about the cold. Then I stopped and just stood...
